Does Size Matter?

I read an article recently entitled “10 Reasons to Never Date a Man with a Big Penis [here].

While, I did get a bit of a giggle about some of the reasons mentioned, I thought I would take the opportunity to give my own point of view (having lived with a man with a bigger than average appendage for quite a few years)

1. Normal Condoms Don’t Fit.
This is very true.  It’s not often you can go into a shop and just pick up a packet of XXXL condoms and apparently, trying to get a smaller size to fit, has all kinds of problems, the worst of which is that it cuts off the blood flow, meaning you’re not going to be needing that condom any time soon anyway.

Would anyone ask for size small?

2. Vagina’s Don’t Fit

Trust me, if a baby’s head, the size of a bowling ball, can squeeze out of your lady parts, a penis is not going to give you any problems at all, no matter what size it is.  Obviously, if it’s about a foot and a half long, it might hit the top of your cervix (or your throat) but a little wiggle one way or another and you can find a comfortable position.  If not, then your partner should not drill so deep, after all, its not all about him is it?

3. Cystitis (UTI)
Okay, yeah, this is a real thing.  But, I don’t think the size really has that much to do with it.  I think it’s the position actually.  In my experience, I’ve found that too much sex doggy style while laying flat on my stomach with a penis hammering away at my urethra over and over… and over and over…. Will result in a UTI.   But it feels so good at the time……..

Lots of Cranberry juice ladies

4. Anal

Well, okay I agree, a thicker penis is a problem here.  And it’s not as if we haven’t tried (quite a few times actually).  It’s really quite like putting a square peg in a round hole.  Bad analogy, but trust me, it just ain’t easy!  Not that it’s never happened and that it won't be attempted again but you've just got to be very relaxed.

5. A Very Real Risk of Suffocation

Unless you are Linda Lovelace, there’s probably a really good chance that you can actually die of suffocation by penis. Not something that I would want to do. And it doesn’t look particularly sexy when you’re drooling spit down your chin (which always seems to happen), trying to breathe through your nose and then you kind of throw up a bit and it comes out your nostrils.  Eeww.  Yeah, not sexy, not sexy at all.

6. Vanilla Sex
I have been with my over-endowed man for quite a few years now, and trust me, there’s no vanilla sex going on in our bedroom.  You name a position and we’ve probably tried it, liked it, and done it again.

7. Bleeding
Pork swords can be a real thing.  In my sex life, however, it’s never happened. But then, some women bleed with any size penis.  If having sex is making you bleed, you probably should see a doctor, or at least ask your swordsman to take the razor blades off the end of his dick.

8. Careful, Measured Sex
Nope.  Just nope.  Sex is sex and if you want to get it on, there’s no point in being careful or measured.  Just Do It (as they say).

9. You Will Always Need Lube

Lube…. Well yes, lube is nice.  But if you’re in the right mood, generally you make your own lube. Need a quickie, then there are other things to create lube. But then again, the slickery, silky feel of lube is a turn on itself.  So I’m not complaining.

 

10. They’re Messy to Look At

I don’t think this is a size thing – they’re all ugly.  Sorry chaps, but that’s just how it is.  A penis is never going to win a beauty contest, is it?  But it’s not what it looks like, it’s how you use it!

I think the person who wrote that article has just got herself a new man who has a whopper of a wiener and she's just a little bit scared.  But trust me, dear, once you've ridden it a while, you will never, ever want to go back to a Mr. Average Dick.

Your Favorite Day!

HAPPY STEAK AND BLOWJOB DAY

 

 

To all our readers, we've been quiet for a while, but today is the perfect day for us to thank all the men out there who are followers of our musings.  Here's to your Best Day of the Year.

 

 

We hope you get everything you deserve on your special day.  Have Fun!

 

Miss Kittie

xxx

Doggie Style

Dogging - No dogs are involved (I hope)… but the (not so new) craze of having sex in a car while complete strangers watch, and sometimes participate is spreading across the world. It has now been reported in not only England, but Australia, Barbados, Brazil, Holland, Denmark, Norway, Canada and the US. My question is, why does it need to be reported? People are just doing what they do without causing harm to anyone, so what makes it a news item?

Never heard of it? Dogging is an English slang term for “engaging in sexual acts in a public or semi-public place, or watching while others engage in sex.” Voyeurism and exhibitionism is encouraged. There may be a lone couple, a group or an entire gang bang. All in the relative safety of your closest public cark park. Usually, there are locations that are well known to ‘doggers’ – a quiet country road with a few secluded parking areas – a far cry from the old ‘behind the bike shed’ style of kissing.

The term dogging possibly originated in the early 1970’s to describe (dirty old) men who spied on unsuspecting couples having sex outdoors. It may also have come from those who would make the excuse of walking the dog to cover their spying activities. This just sounds a bit creepy and is akin to those “sand crabs” who tend to frequent naked beaches in the United States (in my experience). You suddenly look up and find a set of sandy balls touching your beach towel from the crab who crawled his way across the beach towards you to “get a closer look.” *shivers*

I’m all for public sex. And there have been times in the past when a boyfriend and I have gone to a known ‘spot’ to look for a place to, as they say in old American films, neck or make out. Before dogging was popular, we would have to find some place where there was absolutely no chance of being seen and invariably there would be a group of young boys there waiting to chase you off and stop your fun. Dogging has stopped all that. Now you can meet on the internet with a willing participant, meet up at a local known dogging spot and get it on – with as few or as many people as you want.

Now don’t get me wrong, I've enjoyed car sex, but I think my days of dogging are over. Maybe it’s me getting older, but I think I prefer swing clubs. They’re indoors, they have all the comforts of home and quite frankly, how many times can you get the gear stick in your rear before it really hurts!

Have you ever dogged? Do tell….

Kittie
xxx

Jimmy Who? ... An Orgasmic New Arrival

Wow – we’ve got exciting news and I just have to let you all know …. *Drum roll please*

We now carry the JIMMYJANE line of products!!!  And if you’ve never heard of them, you are definitely missing something.  Yes, they are a little pricey, but you definitely pay for what you get.  No doubt about it.

Search Now: JimmyJane

And although we’ve not tried it yet, the Hello Touch is the “Best Toy Ever Invented” and looks like it was “invented by Tony Stark” according to GISMODO.com.

Hello Touch
Get it Here: Hello!!

This little device turns two of your fingers into vibrators which can be used all over the body, anywhere you would normally put your fingers, inside or out.  You can put the vibration pad on any finger, any way around (front or back of the finger) and it will stay where you put it – no glue required.  You can also move them up your finger to the second knuckle and see what happens.  It’s all very space age and Ipod-esque.

Imagine getting an erotic massage while your partner is wearing these.  Totally succumb to the feelings.  Nipple play, clitoris stroking, pretty much anything will feel so good.  If you are a tactile person, these are definitely for you.  It’s also easily washed with soap and water.

FORM 2

But you should also try the Form 2 Waterproof vibrator.  Apparently, this is also an orgasmic little number.  Take a look now and let us know what you think.  We would love to hear your thoughts on these two, or any of the JimmyJane line, actually.

As soon as we get our first shipment, there will definitely be one going home with me….or possibly two  *wink*

Miss Kittie
xxx

 

It Takes Pains to be Beautiful

Shoes…. I lust after shoes… It’s my weakness and the higher the heel, the better. My most recent purchase are these little beauties….

Cute - yes, Sexy – extremely, but they sometimes really, really hurt my feet – and all in the name of fashion.

You can buy them right here:  Bombshell Pumps

As my mum would always tell me, it takes pains to be beautiful.  Which got me thinking about the extremes people go in the name of cuteness and Chinese foot binding came to mind … it has to be the most painful and probably the most dangerous/ugly fashion statement of all time.

For around 1000 years in China tiny feet were considered highly erotic and arousing to Chinese men. The resulting “lotus gait” while walking was thought by men to make the sexual anatomy “more voluptuous and sensitive.” Apparently love manuals back then detailed at least 48 different ways of fondling a woman’s bound feet. !!

While in bed, even while totally naked, women would wear tiny little slippers to conceal their deformed feet. A bit like present day women wearing erotic lingerie to add a little intrigue and look well, HOT - but usually not to hide a deformity! And what a deformity it was, just take a look at this and tell me it's sexy:

Now I’m not a great fan of feet, but I know there are those out there who do have a foot fetish, or podophilia to give it the real name.  In fact, foot fetishism is the most common form of fetish related to a body part.   I have no problem with that, just it’s not my cup of tea. But really, what on earth were those Chinese men thinking?  Was this really a foot fetish or was it a domination thing because those poor women couldn’t even walk without help.

I think I will stick with my high heels, which add spice to my life, make my legs look longer and turn on my man!  Can’t ask for more than that.  And if he decides he would like to suck my toes, then who am I to turn him down. *sigh*

Sun, Sea and....Sex!

Well you might have noticed I've been gone for a while... did you notice... hello??? anyone out there??  Yes, we were on vacation - and what a vacation it was. 

You may think of a vacation as relaxing, sight seeing, sunbathing, tan lines, a few drinks and then a few more.  But this was a whole different kind of vacation which consisted of relaxing, drinking, sex, sunbathing, sex, no tan lines, sex, dancing, sex, drinking, sex, swimming, sex, Jacuzzi-ing (is that even a word?)  But, yes you get it, there was a whole LOT of sex going on around that cruise ship and what a good time was had by all.

A full ship lifestyle takeover - who could ask for more.  From morning to night just a sexually charged atmosphere.  You may remember a while back I blogged about the theme nights - well, they were even more sexy than I would have thought.  So, let's take a look at some of the nights shall we?? 

There was sexy super hero night... of course, superman (or woman)

Super ... Boobs!

Then there were :
The Great Gatsby Night  ..
and Fetish Night ....

And Mardi Gras Masquerade

 

There we a few more nights, but pictures are not available yet... But just let it be said - a brilliant time was had by all.  Even down to being watched having sex on the balcony by the neighbors in the cabin above - how they didn't fall overboard is anyone's guess!

 

Many new friendships were made and we can't wait for the next one. 

 

If you ever want to try it out, just take a look here and say hello to Lynne!

 

Have you ever been on a lifestyle cruise?  Where did you go and how was it?  Do tell.... 

Thinking Outside the "Box" - a Product Review

So we’ve been doing this blog for a while now and think it’s time for a product review. And what better product to review than the Hitachi Magic Wand….!! Boy, we had fun testing this one – over and over and over and over and….. well, you get the picture *blush*

We’ve had a few people ask what’s best in the world of vibrators and until now, we’ve gone with a few choices…. you’ve got the tried and trusted ‘regular’, old time vibrators which were fine in their day, but with new ideas coming along, they tend to be a bit, well, boring.

Then there was all the fuss over the Rabbit which for a while was a little different, but of course there are the copycats now with the butterfly, dolphin, flower, killer whale… [okay, I don’t think there is actually a killer whale - just seeing if you were still paying attention]… These vibrators are okay, unless you want a little privacy and don’t want the neighbors knowing what you’re doing…. What with all the whirring and then the crunching as the beads turn in their little pocket it’s not subtle. I’ve also always found that the rabbit ears, or dolphin nose, or whatever, does not quite reach the area it’s supposed to. You need to hold it at an awkward angle and also hold the ears on the correct spot. Tends to kill the mood a little.

Then there’s glass - which technically isn’t a vibrator, it’s a dildo, but it’s just as good. Yes, glass sounds a bit scary, but once you realize it’s not going to break and slice up your lady parts, then it’s all good fun. Best about this one is when you put it in the fridge for a while and it’s lovely and cold. Obviously, you don’t want to freeze it or you could end up with frost-bitten labia and really, that’s not a good look on anyone. Leave this one in the fridge until the right time… they also keep cool for quite a while so you won’t have to go running to the kitchen in the middle of anything. Best for this one is to lay back, close your eyes and have your partner gently run the dildo up and down your inner thighs and gently up and over your clitoris (*oh my, I’m getting wet just thinking about it*). He/she could also pop a mint into his/her mouth and blow…. Ooooh….!!

 

Icicles #5



You can get quite a few shapes and sizes in glass and this is one of my favorites (which we also happen to sell *grin*):

                                                                                            Icicles #5 Glass Dildo 

Put this in the fridge and take it from there!

 

So getting back on track – The Hitachi Magic Wand (now apparently re-named the “Original Magic Wand”) was first introduced as a plain old massager in the 1970’s. It was soon turned into a sexual device with the help of sex educator Betty Dodson, an advocate for masturbation, among other things and I would like to thank that lady from the bottom of my heart!!



The Original Hitachi Magic Wand



The Magic Wand has been called the “Cadillac of Vibrators” and quite honestly, I can see why. When you remove it from the box you may exclaim “Holy Sh*t how the heck will I get that in??” The 2.5 inch wide head is a little daunting. But wait – you don’t have to put it IN…. oh no… this little box of tricks is designed for outside the box – literally! Well, actually it was designed for your neck and back, but that’s beside the point.

The flexible neck and powerful 5,000 and 6,000 rpm settings will have you climbing on the ceiling. Place this baby on your clitoris and I would bet that within two to three minutes you are having one of the most powerful orgasms of your life. The knack is being able to keep it there as the vibration is so powerful you will want to move it off for a moment so you can get your breath back. I actually squirted and that’s not something I usually do easily. And I’d only been using the Wand for a few minutes. Wow… is all I can say. The power of that thing is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!! Now, if you add a partner, some oil or lotion and a couple of drinks, just imagine how many orgasms you could have. In fact, I think you could go for the record (hmmm… I wonder if there is one?)

In my opinion this is the very best vibrator for a screaming, crying, blubbering orgasm that you just won't want to stop.  You must to try it to believe it.

There are now after-market attachments available too. So you can use it inside, and your partner can use it too. I have tried some attachments, all in the name of research you know, and tend to think that using the Wand on it’s own, without attachments is just as good, if not better. Bear in mind this is an electric vibrator and only works on AC current. Although the lead is quite long, you may have to use an extension lead. But that is the only drawback I have found. Oh, if you have a latex allergy, you may want to put a non-latex condom on the end to avoid any issues as the head seems to be made from latex – but don’t let this put you off. This is a definite ‘Must Buy” – and here’s a link:

Magic Wand Original

$54.95 and well worth the price!  You will NOT regret buying this!

 

I am planning on using this with a couple of ‘friends’ in the near future and maybe will do a follow-up to this review so keep checking back (or why not follow me).  Have you experienced the Magic Wand?  What do you think??  Do tell.....

Kisses,

Miss Kittie

xxx

Hot... and a Bit Bothered!



THIS IS ONLY AN EXAMPLE!



As most ladies know, you either have curly hair that you hate, or you have straight hair - that you hate!  Either way, nobody is satisfied.  I am one of the straight hair brigade, so straight in fact that if I only blow dried it I would look like I had straw sitting on my head.  In fact, that’s unkind to straw – straw has more body.  So it is with regret that I have to use a curling iron/tongs every day, no matter what.  And here’s the thing…. Ladies, if you are going to curl your hair with an iron and you are in the least bit clumsy be very careful. 

There I was just last week getting ready for work, not in any particular hurry, standing before the mirror in my knickers (only my knickers) and curling my hair.  Now, I’m not the most coordinated person at times, mornings being worse, so as I’m standing there, breasts exposed to the world (or at least to my bathroom) I drop the curling iron…. Yes, I said it, I DROPPED IT!  And where in the world would you think it would land… on the floor?  In the sink? On the counter?  Oh no…. the bloody thing landed right on my left breast…!  Oh shit you might say…. Well that and ‘Ouch’ were not the only words I muttered at that moment.  There may have been a slight scream as well.

I’m quite proud of my breasts, a perfect 36C with cute little nipples.  However, for the last week, I’ve had to have a bandage thingy over the one side so that I don’t get a scar.  Trust me, that doesn’t look too good when you’re wearing a low cut top.  However, my man has taken quite a liking to playing doctor and applying ointment to the burn a few more times a day than is actually necessary.  I could quite get used to all this attention.   I just hope I don't get a massive scar that will ruin those perfect globes because that would bother me.

Oh, and have I mentioned I have a naked cruise coming up in a few weeks... how inconvenient! 

Have you ever burned a private part?  What is the most embarrasing thing you've damaged as a result of your own clumsiness or stupidity?

Kisses,

Miss Kittie 

All.... Aboard!

I’m so excited – we’ve just booked an adults only cruise to the Caribbean. Hmmm… you say, adults only? Oh heck yeah… no bloody kids running around, no screaming babies, no uptight parents running after their children, no sticky handprints on your tan and lots and lots of sexy men and women to get to know.

This will be our third or fourth cruise, au naturel. And what better fun – sailing around the ocean with not a care in the world, as much alcohol as you can handle and if you feel like it, absolutely butt naked! {and who wouldn’t feel like it}

The best part of these cruises (except for the nightlife and sex) has got to be the nightly ‘themes.’ A great opportunity to bring out your inner vamp.

On this cruise some of the themes are:

• 70’s Night
• Sexy Lingerie Party 
• Great Gatsby
• Fetish and Vampire 

Who wouldn't enjoy getting all dolled up each night? Of course, the lingerie night is a no brainer because I work at WWW.WETKITTIE.COM and that's what we do. But, we also have Halloween costumes at this time of year, so I'm sure I can find something to fit each night. I'm beginning to think Superman never looked so good. I'm sure I can find a wonderful ship-mate!

What's the best Halloween costume you've ever worn?  How sexy was it?  Have you ever been on an adults only vacation and just how much fun did you have??  Discuss......

Kisses,

Kittie